Sex Educator Job Opening

Have you thought that working at Sugar would be a good fit for you? Well, we currently have a rare job opening for a Sex Educator/sales person. The job description is below.

Please look through the job description. If it sounds like a good match for your skills and passions, send in a resume and cover letter to jacq@sugartheshop.com . The cover letter must include why you want to work at Sugar and how your previous experience is relevant. No calls will be accepted related to this position.

Hours available include weekdays and weekends and will total 11-20 hours a week. Must be available to work Saturdays. Please don't send in an application if you are not available to work these times.

We look forward to meeting our new co-worker!

Applications must be received by 5pm Monday, March 4th

 

Sex Educator

The Sex Educator is responsible for answering customers’ questions, using active listening skills to determine the customer’s concerns and needs, providing customers with the information they require to make the purchases that are best for them and/or providing customers with referrals to other community organizations, stores or healthcare providers if Sugar is not able to meet their needs.  In addition, SEs process sales in the POS system, stock the store and maintain information in the Inventory Control system, ensure that the store is clean and tidy at all times, fulfillment of customer orders for shipping and perform other duties as assigned.  These duties may include:  store decoration, workshop instruction and/or special events.

Required skills:

-       A passion for Sugar’s mission

-       Computer literacy

-       Excellent customer service

-       Able to accurately work with money

-       Able to lift 50 pounds

-       Able to work evenings and weekends

-       Comfort with and acceptance of diverse sexualities

-       Cultural competency with diverse communities

-       Knowledge and understanding of queer and gender issues

-       Commitment to a team environment

-       A mind that is open to new things and ways of solving problems

Preferred:

Previous experience in sexuality education, counseling and/or retail.

Sugar will provide Sex Educators with:

$11.50 an hour – eligible for $00.50 increase after two successful months

A commitment to a systems oriented work place.

A work place that is respectful and supportive.

Mission

Sugar is a lesbian owned, multi-gender operated, for profit, mission driven sex toy store.  By providing education and toys in a shame free, sex positive, fun environment we help people of all genders and orientations experience their own unique sexuality with shameless joy and passion. 

Vision

A world in which healthy sexuality is respected and celebrated in all of its diversity.

Values

Sugar believes that sex between consenting adults is sacred, powerful and fun and should be celebrated and honored.  By providing quality education and toys in a sex positive, fun atmosphere, we will help foster healthy sexuality.  In order to provide our customers with impeccable customer service we strive to create a work environment that is healthy and supportive of each and every member of the Sugar team.  Sugar also works to exist in the environment in a way that is sustainable and responsible.

On why this feed is about to be all about the Ravens.

I grew up in a home where we went to church on Sunday, listened to classical music, had elaborate dinner parties, watched Dynasty, and the only sport we played was shopping the 70% off sale at Talbots.

But, on Saturday afternoons, we dressed in scarlet and grey and screamed our heads off for the Ohio State Buckeyes.

Football was something that everyone watched, lived, breathed. When the retired head coach, Woody Hayes*, passed away, my father (the pastor), walked into my bedroom and said, "Jacquelyn, get up, God died".

Gender or athletic ability had no impact on someone's commitment to football. Football existed. Like the sun comes up in the morning and the uprights get pulled down after the Ohio State/Michigan game (until they changed how they were made and stopped the annual upright carnage - spoil sports). And we loved it.

When I went to college, I went to one football game. And left before it was over. My liberal arts college was good at a lot of things. Football was not one of them. So, I started playing rugby. Tackling is fun.

When I moved to Minneapolis, I never fell in love with the Vikings. The 90s weren't good years for football in Minneapolis, people weren't passionate about it. The Packers fans, I understood. They lived and breathed their team. But they were never my team.

Then, I got a job offer in Baltimore. I honestly hesitated. This was the town that stole my Grandpa's favorite team. This was the town that now housed the hated Art Modell ( know, everyone loves him - it's hard to love him when your Mom's family is from Cleveland). But this was also the town that had their Colts stolen in the middle of the night in a Mayflower moving van. An event that had also caused my Baltimore born father to wake me up holding the picture of the van on the front page of the Columbus Dispatch. If any town deserved the Browns it was Baltimore. And it was my dream job.

So, I moved. And slowly, I fell in love. First with the town. The salt water in the air, the fog by the water, the strangers on the street that chat with you, the neighbors who know everything about you and ignore your oddities, a town that thrives on it's strangeness and it's heart.

My rugby team raised money by working one of the beer stands at the stadium. One day, beer sales were over, we'd cleaned up the stand, but the game was still going on. It was close to the end of the 4th quarter, the Ravens were behind but barely. It came up that I'd never seen a live professional football game. Someone made me go into the stadium to stand on the steps and watch the last three minutes. The Ravens had the ball, brought it down the field and Matt Stover came out and kicked a field goal with seconds left on the clock. It was electric. It was loud. I was hooked. I was home.

There are many things I love about the Ravens. We're always the underdogs. We play with heart. The fans fan with heart and fierceness. And, as a woman, a femme, a lesbian I have always been welcome. In this town I have yet to meet a man who looks surprised that I know a decent amount about football. When I go to the games, the crowds are diverse in age, ethnicity and gender. And when you walk around the city on Fridays and Sundays, a ton of folks are in purple. This is a football town.

I remember the last time the Ravens were in a Super Bowl. There was a crowd in my living room in Fells Point glued to the TV screen. Siragusa had a brilliant sack (of course). The defense scored most of the points. We won. I cried. I couldn't believe it. People spilled out of their homes screaming, yelling, hugging. It was amazing.

And now, more than a decade later, we're back there again. And I can't believe it again. No matter what happens Sunday, on Monday, I'll be hanging my #52 jersey in the closet. And I'll be a proud Raven's fan.

In the meantime, you'll be hearing more Ravens chatter from me. On Sunday, I'll be sitting in my lucky seat in the bar in Remington where people who know each and people who don't will share a series of moments that we'll never forget. We'll scream and yell and hug and probably cry. Because. It's football. It's the Super Bowl. It's tradition.

Go Ravens.

And, thank you, Mr Lewis, for 17 years. We're going to miss you. Your talent, your intelligence and your passion have been a gift to the Baltimore community we will never forget. May your next endeavors provide you with as much joy as you've given us.

Next week, we'll be back to sex.

Lube and pH

So, I was thinking about lubrication and folks who are trying to get pregnant.

Sperm is happiest at a pH of around 7.4 Many lubricants have pH levels that are more acid. There are several lubes on the market that specifically target people who are trying to get pregnant. These lubes have a nicely alkaline pH. We used to carry one of these lubes at the store. It's called PreSeed and it gets great reviews. I never loved it. It comes in little prepackaged lube squirters (which isn't the way most people apply lube for vaginal intercourse), has a paraben in it and is pretty pricey.  Recently, PreSeed was sold and the new owners no longer sell to our distributor. We've never sold enough of it to buy direct from the manufacturer (and rumor has it, the new owners don't want to sell to sex toy stores). I was annoyed and I started thinking.

What's the pH of the lube we sell? Do we have a lube already on the shelf that would help keep the vagina a nice welcoming place for sperm? What would be the best consistency for a conception lube? When the body is at its most fertile, it produces cervical mucus that is clear and stretchy. This mucus can act as a wick to help get sperm into the uterus. I'm guessing that one would want lube that was slick, but wouldn't wash out the useful cervical mucus, so a lube that's not super liquidy might be better. The consistency is of the lubes marketed as "for conception" tend to be thinner gels, so I think my consistency theory might be right. 

Then, I pH tested every lube in the store. I used pH strips and my best judgement. I have used pH strips before when I worked in a medical clinic. However, that was years ago, so take this for what it is, my best guess.

Sliquid Lubricants
Sassy - pH 5
H2O - pH 5
Sea - pH 6
Satin - pH 7
Swirl - Blue Raspberry - pH 6+
Swirl Strawberry Pomegranate - pH 4+
Swirl Pina Colada - pH 4+
Oceanics - pH 7.5
Organic H2O - pH 6+
Organic Silk - pH 6+
Organic Gel - pH 7

Good Clean Love
Almost Naked - pH 4
Lavender - pH 4

Slippery Stuff
Slippery Stuff Gel - pH 6

Wet
Strawberry Kiwi - pH 4

Liquid Silk - pH 4

Maximus - pH 3

Pleasure Works
Please Liquid - pH 3

Silicone lubes - I tested five different brands (Uberlube, Pink, Wet, Pjur and Swiss Navy). Each had a pH of 5.

I'll add to the list as I test more.

As of now, it looks like Sliquid Oceanics would work well. It's very close to the optimum pH and it fits in with my (untested) theory that a lube that's slick but not too liquid would be best.

I'm not a scientist, nor a physician. So, take the above with a grain or five of salt. Just don't put the salt in anyone's vagina.

Beautiful Original Northwood Home for sale

So - for a lot of reasons, none of which have to do with how incredibly awesome this house and the neighborhood are, my wife and I have moved back to our old house and put this one up for sale.

It's seriously someone's very lucky day. And if you know my wife, you'll know why.

She's utterly meticulous. And she over saw everything that was done on this house.

Three years ago it went through a sizable renovation. It got a new kitchen (Corian countertops, Jennair stove), the bathrooms were updated (including a hand held shower in the basement bathroom that's very handy for washing dogs), new appliances (everything energy star), new furnace, water heater, gutters, refinished floors, fireplace doors, new fancy fireplace thingy that closes at the top and saves energy, even custom made window well covers. The yard has lovely and low maintenance landscaping. The energy costs are extremely reasonable (never over $300).

And Original Northwood is a great place to live. It's very GLBT friendly, it's a great mix of families with kids that play together, single people and couples. It's also one of the most racially mixed neighborhoods in the city. It's 2 minutes from Morgan State, 7 minutes from Hampden, 15 minutes from Penn Station, and 10 minutes from Hamilton. The community association is active and effective - they even brought in people to get the streets cleared during the big blizzard.

The house has three bedrooms, a small, well designed kitchen, two full baths (2nd floor and basement), living room, dining room, little front porch, flagstone patio, one car detached garage.

It's on the market for $259,900.

Interested? Know someone who might be looking? Check out the official listing here - and please pass it on:

http://homes.longandfoster.com/Real-Estate/PropertyDetails.aspx?mlsCompanyID=2&mlsNumber=BA7572457

Stop Discrimination on Gender Identity

This year the Maryland legislature is considering a bill that would outlaw some discrimination due to gender identity.

There's been a lot of fuss about this bill.

Why?

Well, first of all, it is totally legal to discriminate against people because of their gender identity in most of the state (certain municipalities, including Baltimore City have laws which prohibit this discrimination). In other words, a person can be fired, denied employment or housing because they are transgender or because their gender doesn't conform with another person's idea of an "appropriate" gender presentation.

Which is absurd.

Several years ago, Maryland passed a law which added sexual orientation to the non discrimination law. The non discrimination law includes: housing, employment, credit and public accommodations.  Gender identity should have been included then. It wasn't. And now we're having to fight to get it added. Last year, and the year before advocates tried to add gender identity to the overall non-discrimination law and failed. The law failed because the antis launched a campaign focused primarily on the public accommodations section - particularly the part of public accommodations that addresses bathrooms.  The campaign was fear based, focusing on mythical male predators putting on dresses and raping women and children in bathrooms. For some reason, legislators found this specious argument compelling and the bill never left committee.

This year, advocates decided to try a different tact. A bill (HB 235) was introduced that would prohibit discrimination in housing, employment and credit. Public accommodations were excluded from the bill. So, although this bill would add many protections, it would continue to allow discrimination in extremely critical areas - including hotels, restaurants and yes, bathrooms.

The bill is far from perfect. Discrimination in public accommodations is intolerable. But, politics is ugly. We in Maryland did not stand up for our trans community when we should have. And now we're trying to clean up the mess. Our politicians don't have the hutzpah to stand up and do what's right and pass a comprehensive bill, but it looks like we may be able to get them to pass a bill that offers some protection. And I think they should do it. If this bill passes, and I hope it will, it's only a starting point. An important starting point.

So please, take a moment and call your delegate and ask them to support HB 235. 

And yes, we'll be back for more until trans people in Maryland have the same protections as everyone else. No one should fear or experience discrimination for their religion, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, ability or disability. It's wrong. And, although I sound like a country song when I say it, it's un-American.

There are some people who do not support the bill because it doesn't include public accommodations. There are good reasons for that stance. We, as the Maryland LGBT community, have marginalized, silenced and ignored our trans community(ies) for years. All of us, regardless of gender identity deserve comprehensive protection. People are angry. I'm angry too. And I believe the analysis that we cannot get a comprehensive bill passed this year, that prohibiting some discriminations will empower our communities,  and give us stronger footing for the next bite at the apple.

Imperfect as it is, we need to pass HB 235

Click here to find your delegate's phone numbers. And please, make that call today.

the war on women.

The Republicans just eliminated Title X. And also banned Planned Parenthood from receiving any federal funding.

The mind reels.

Title X is one of the most cost effective programs the federal government has. Funds are allocated to the states. The state health departments then distribute these funds through a grant application process to non-profit health centers and local health departments. The health centers then are able to provide sliding fee scale reproductive health care services to women and teenage girls.

The services fund STI testing and treatment, pap smears, breast exams and help pay for birth control.

Title X services have helped prevent millions of pregnancies, and save the medicaid system millions of dollars.

According to a study done by the Guttmacher Institute:

National family planning programs prevents 1.94 million unintended pregnancies, including almost 400,000 teen pregnancies, each year. These pregnancies would result in 860,000 unintended births, 810,000 abortions and 270,000 miscarriages, according to a new Guttmacher Institute report.

Absent publicly funded family planning services, the U.S. abortion rate would be nearly two-thirds higher than it currently is, and nearly twice as high among poor women.

Publicly funded family planning services are highly cost-effective. More than nine in 10 women receiving them would be eligible for Medicaid-funded prenatal, delivery and postpartum care services if they became pregnant. Avoiding the significant costs associated with these unintended births saves taxpayers $4 for every $1 spent on family planning.

Guttmacher Institute February 24, 2009

The death of Title X is not assured. The bill will have to go through reconciliation with the Senate and then to the President.

Ending Title X would be a disaster for our nation. The people behind this movement, while claiming to take this action to work against abortion are instead bringing on a national health crisis. They say that Planned Parenthood uses Title X funds to indirectly support their abortion practice. I can tell you with certainty, that's not true. If anything, the abortion practice helps to subsidize additional reproductive health services for women. Planned Parenthood is one of the finest health care providers in the nation, and the largest single provider of reproductive health care in the United States.

Where will these millions of women turn for reproductive health care? How many cases of breast cancer will go undiagnosed? How many case of cervical cancer will not be prevented? Or be missed? How many young women will avoid accessing birth control because they can't afford a doctor's visit? And how many of these same women will end up pregnant?

All in the name of what? Bias against Planned Parenthood. Bias against abortion and the freedom to choose abortion. Bias against birth control. Bias against women.

Call your Senator now and tell them to stop this atrocity.

Porn. The scarlet P

Last Fall, student organizers at Oregon State University approached author, educator and award winning pornographer, Tristan Taormino to provide a keynote presentation at a conference called Modern Sex: Privilege, Communication, and Culture Conference.

Choosing Tristan to speak at this conference makes sense. She is one of the leading sex educators in the country. She has spoken at multiple colleges and universities, including Yale and Harvard. She wrote a column in the Village Voice for ten years. She has won multiple AVN Awards and Feminist Porn Awards. She is smart, insightful and well connected. She is able to discuss sex and sexuality from multiple perspectives - especially those related to how we communicate about sex.

This week, after tickets to the event had been purchased, and while her contract was going through the final signing process, she was disinvited from the event. The explanation was as follows:

Organizers of the upcoming Modern Sex Conference at OSU recently sought approval to bring in a speaker for that event by presenting a partial description of the speaker in question as a writer and sex advice columnist. However, as arrangements were being made to complete the contract for the speaker, it became clear to those providing taxpayer funding for the conference that the speaker, in fact, is also a self-described pornographer with a significant online business in video pornography and related material. A decision was made by Student Affairs leadership that using public funds to cover a speaking fee and travel expenses for the speaker constituted an inappropriate use of those funds, and the speaker’s appearance was thus cancelled.

Travel costs already incurred by the speaker in preparation for her appearance at the university will be reimbursed.

The statement isn't exactly correct - the approval process was started last fall. And, although I have no idea what the students at OSU wrote on their forms, Tristan has never hidden the part of her job that includes pornography. Its part and parcel of what she does.

So what is this really about?

OSU has a right to decide how to spend their money. That's part of how they exercise free speech. As a public institution, they have to answer for how they spend their money, not just to a board, but to the legislature. This conference is being paid for with general funds. In other words, with tax payer money. Frequently, this issue is avoided when controversial speakers are brought to campus by paying for these speakers with student fee funds. This money belongs to the students and is not allocated to the institution from the legislature. When I have taught at public universities, it was these funds which were used to pay me.

Paying for things with student money, makes it easier. But why is it necessary? Would a public insititution balk at bringing in an anti-pornography activist and paying for that person with public money? I doubt it.

What is it about someone participating in pornography that causes an administration to back off?

It's fear.

Right now, our politicians are living in fear. Creating it. Selling it. Manipulating it.

State budgets are tight all across the country. And it is extremely possible that a state legislature would use something like this as an excuse to slash the university budget.

The actions of the university are understandable. But they are not excusable.

As an institution of higher learning it is the responsibility of the administration to provide it's students with access to multiple perspectives. Especially perspectives that may be controversial. Listening to people with whom one disagrees, working to understand different perspectives is a critical part of a good, solid education. Learning how to listen to an argument, compare it to your own experiences, academic knowledge and personal values and synthesize a well thought out opinion is how we become active, useful members of a democratic society. Stifling debate or access to opinion is the death knell of a healthy culture.

How is one to have a legitimate and comprehensive discussion about sex and communication in the United States without including some discussion of pornography? Like it or not, it's part of the fabric of our sexuality. And it's legal.

And why was it ok to include the author of "The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women", but not the director of "The Expert Guide to Fellatio". Why does the act of putting something on HD change who someone is? It's non-sensical.

OSUs decision to exclude Tristan Taormino from their campus is to the detriment of their community and to their academic credentials. I sincerely hope that they find some back bone and revisit their decision.